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Desire and doubt

Posted on Sun Nov 7th, 2021 @ 4:04pm by Lieutenant Junior Grade Zach Chase

As I sit in my Group Commanders office I feel nothing but pride for my pilots and support staff. All aircraft launched, no casualties were experienced, weapons worked properly. Weapons are now being loaded and any repairs are on going.

His thoughts however returned to his love, Shoniara and Grace. I know that she is torn in her feelings. I know she loves Jacques and I know she loves me. I know that they had/have a passionate/sexual relationship. I know that sensuality/sexuality are a large part of Shoniara’s make up. When the time come, after Grace is born then hopefully we will have the same type of relationship. I guess it is a human trait that stop sexual contact when their mate is pregnant. Of course when your mate is as beautiful as Shoniara it isn’t always easy.

Of course she is older than me. Everyone on board is basically older than me. Being Vulcan she will live longer than me, so we can still have a long life together. Even though she is “older” she is still one of the most beautiful women he has ever met. I don’t know how I can express just how beautiful she is.

Do I want to be an instant dad? Well I look back to my stepdad who married my mother after my father died. He sat me down one day and told me that he isn’t here to replace my father. He is just my new dad. Because he wasn’t my blood father it never stopped him from loving me completely. That is how I feel about Grace and Etienne. Of course we have to make a decision about Etienne but we will adopt him so he still has parents.

Would I give up my job on the USS Polaris? If it meant being with Shoniara and Grace, then yes. Would he like to stay in Starfleet wherever they go, but would give it up to be with her. I know she has been offered a position on Vulcan. Life would certainly be different. There I would be an outsider, but that has been my life.

Do I want her to do the Kolinar if she goes back to Vulcan? Do I want a partner that doesn’t show emotion? That is yet to be determined.


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