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Going Through Changes

Posted on Sun Nov 7th, 2021 @ 12:10am by Commander Shoniara T’ghann Dex M.D

Tyzon Laque has set out to look for Jacques on the Pirexan ship. I wish he had returned to us before Ardera did her worst. I still love him, he is the father of my child and has a son who needs him. However I am in love with another who has taken my heart. Zach is much younger than me but then so may people are since I am Vulcan and hope to live until my 130’s. Zach is young and has just been promoted to Lieutenant [jg] but he has an adult head on his shoulders and I am sure will quickly rise up through the ranks. He would give up his career for us if Jacques does return and makes it impossible for us to live aboard the Polaris, not many men would do that. Our age difference does worry me though especially as he will still be quite young when I am much older.

He is gentle and kind, much the same as Jacques was. There is just something else about him. He is willing to be a father to Grace and even Etienne if Jacques does not return, I just wonder if he is prepared for all that this entails. Jacques was such a passionate sensual man and I am not sure if Zach realises how much I am. Being so pregnant much physicality is impossible but, should I marry someone I have not yet been intimate in bed with? I feel a passion for Zach but as yet he has not attempted physical contact other than kisses, although they are passionate . Maybe he does not find me attractive, although he has complemented me in the past. I just know I love him.He is not on board the ship at present but is providing fighter support for an attack on the Pirexans. I am worried about his safety also, although I know he is a very competent pilot.

Zach has saved my life literally and has been here for me many times over the last few months. My wounds have all healed now and I have returned to work with the support of Borvan Pirek and Dr Ench’ra, although there are still some things I do not remember of Ardera’s possession of my mind and body and, as a Vulcan that scares me. Grace is growing every day and I seem to have some sort of neural connection with her. I have been assured she will not be ‘Borg’ but will have some special abilities and we look forward to welcoming her into the world. Dr Ench’ra has advised me it is going to be impossible to have a natural birth due to Grace’s size, we will wait and see. I think Zach would like to see a natural birth, only time will tell. I am very tired currently due to Grace’s growth rate and am having to have protein infusions to keep my strength up. I will have to finish work in a few weeks now in order to have complete rest which, I must say I am looking forward to. It has been a difficult few months.. I will take that time to author a paper on Ardera’s possession of me in the hope that it might help others. I am also going to shake up our sickbay.

T’ghrek has told me he would like me to go to Vulcan with him as a doctor at the Consulate there. I think he would like me to to try for Kolinar again but with a family living on Vulcan it would be difficult and I have told him that It would depend on Zach. I am tired now and must meditate and rest. I say a Vulcan prayer for Ty’s safety and in the hope he brings Jacques home to us also. But it is my special prayer that I will say for my love Zack. Surak keep him safe and return him to me.
T’na’-thl naH.


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